It sounds like a good idea: two people promising to love one another for better or for worse, until death do you part, promising this great promise… in their own words. In fact, writing your own vows can be a wonderful thing. Saying how you feel, in your own words, is almost always seen as superior to the standard Hallmark-greeting type vows that are recycled from a book or magazine article. Notice we said “almost always.” Just like baking your own wedding cake or making your own wedding dress, penning one’s own vows isn’t universally a plus. Before you put on your poet’s beret, heed to these simple Do’s and Don’ts:
1) If you don’t have it in you and you are not that in tune with your feelings, not in tune with writing them down and sharing them with the world, don’t do it. People will see right through it.
2) Do ask yourself some fundamental questions regarding your view on marriage and how you see it. ‘Til death do us part, in sickness and in health, in good times and bad… those words all mean something. Make it count when you pen your own vows.
3) Don’t pressure your fiance(e). If he or she is not in favor of writing vows, the idea of writing vows can cause even more wedding stress.
4) Do be brief and keep at hand a cheat sheet with your vows. Nobody wants to see you fumble and forget your vows on this special day. Don’t try to memorize. You’ll be nervous enough.
5) Do stay true to you. If you are not a lover of classic literature and poetry, don’t quote some rogue, googled lines from Wuthering Heights. That book is about tragic love, my dear.
6) Don’t be too silly. Nobody wants to hear you promise, as a joke, to leave the toilet seat down or to never accidentally put diesel fuel in the family car. These are your vows, ladies and gentlemen. Make it classy.
If you want more help, here are some books to point you in the right direction:
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