Here’s comes the bride… and every girl she’s been friends with since her toddler play dates. OK, this may be a touchy subject, especially since there are so many offenders out there. Brides, before you hire a private investigator to track down that girl you sat next to in math in the 3rd grade, you really need to start thinking of who ought to be in your wedding party. Those of you with huge families you may not have an “out” here, as a lot of family traditions call for larger than life wedding parties. Here I am thinking of the crowd in fluffy blue tulle in “My Big Fat Greek Wedding.” As for the rest of us, being a bridesmaid is expensive and the economy is a little shaky now. You might want to reconsider who you may be burdening with your request and keep your party in check. Here are a few bridesmaid “don’ts” that are trending right now:
- In the case of a destination wedding and fluffy gowns, being considerate in this department is super important, as it could batter a friendship. We know of one bride who paid for her bridemaids’ gowns for her destination wedding as a sort of nod to say, hey, “it’s important to me that you are there.” High five sister. Conversely, we know of one girl who made her bridesmaids–14 of them, most traveling from out of town– buy $300 designer gowns, pay for an outlandish catered shower, an extravagant bachelorette party, and a pricy trip to the salon for pre-wedding primping. OK lady, it’s your day; we get it. But please be considerate.
- Dictating every style choice for your bridesmaids can be a little annoying. As women get married later in life, and have bridesmaids that are also a little set in their adult ways, it’s fast becoming a no-no to tell a grown woman that she has to wear the same pink eyeshadow and peach nail polish, or that she has to wear her hair in a lacquered-to-her-head french twist, even if she sports a pixie do. Give your gals some guidelines– soft and natural, muted, hair swept up, shades of purple–and be easy about it. We are big girls now.
- OK, Mimi has been gaining weight steadily since college. Chances are, Mimi knows this. She may be battling her weight. She’s been chubby since your 28th birthday party in Vegas. That said, telling her she has to lose weight for your wedding is highly insensitive. Always be supportive of pals facing weighty issues; but don’t dictate. Be understanding; it’s a journey. You love her for who she is, no matter the size, right?
- On that note, new moms are delicate flowers. If you have a gal in your wedding party that just had a baby you need to be ultra patient. Being a new mom is ice-water shocking. You lose sleep. You don’t have time to shower, much less plan a shower. So if Betty forgets a fitting, give her a break.
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